You’re the nicest psychopath I know

Not really

But kind of

Cause wow

Sometimes it’s scary

Like when my aunt

Made us run

To Mrs. Shumaker’s house

For protection

And a gun

Cause we heard a sound

That I did not hear

That I said I heard

Cause she said I heard it

And her body language said

I should be scared

So inside I pushed

The brave kid down

And decided that I was not brave

As much as 9-year-olds

Can decide to not be brave

And sometime later

We returned to the house

And played

And sang songs from “Grease”

Until we watched Friday the 13th

Like that

Kinda like you, Friend.

A lil’ bit o’ honey

Smashed between scream queens

Lap dog

Regal and blue

I’d rather be anything

Than limited and blank

No.  Fold me in a million ways

Sing me soprano alto tenor bass

Lap dog

Regal and blue

But a caricature, right?

Not not real

But not not quite

A nice thought

Lap dog

Regal and blue

The one no-one remembers

And can’t remember

Why they don’t remember

Lap dog

Stay

Cry Baby King

Who don’t want to be King,

Quit your wailing for Absalom

Pitiful pitiful Absalom cry.

Don’t you know

Your people hear you

For the love of God

Pull yourself together

Your troops have been faithful

And your leaders bow low

But you sniff sniff and snot

For you known enemy

Ain’ nobody drank no kool-aid

No!  They’re loyal and true

Because you work, King.

You work!

And they know your heart beats

For Lord

For Mission

For all people

So robe up and go

Stand by the gate

Keep doing

What good kings do

Call that sad thing a sad thing

But don’t wail or wonder why

Cause you won a battle there

And you look so foolish

Blowing your nose

On your robe

Holding your victory

in your snotty hand

Get back to work

Just get back to work

 

She don’t tell me nothin’

Day to day to day

And 25 plus it got me

But wow if it don’t seem to be

A funny funny thing now

Cause she ain’t a damsel

Has never been

And never will be

In need of me

Which is to say

That I’m her steady

Steadier now than I could ever be

So the way she figures it

She has no need to worry me

Or be bothered with me

Cause better by better

We creep

And much much can be said

With a nod and a wink

She’s trouble

Healing on the lawn

Just that close

Neighbors didn’t hear a thing

Gradually got louder

Little by little

That’s probably why

Cause even though

I’m the last one in the room to know

With everyone saying

Boy, that took a long time

I kinda was the first to see

The writing on the wall

Then a decade-long quest

To keep that from becoming

A self-made prophecy

But, as it is

There’s a healing on the lawn

And green is getting really really green

Oh wind blow free

I’d rather be anything than limited

Personal hell, Team mediocre

To be humble, yes

To be hungry, yes please

To be smart, people-smart, of course

But also to know

The mad truth

Of your own potential

The harsh reality

Of your plethora of options to survive

Talk talk and tell tales

Your lips show lessons

Have taken or not

And controlling the future

Is what death grips are for

Wading through it, your noise

Is tricky tricky and true

Cause fear falls fiercely

Out your mouth

In mostly correct conjecture

But 10 of 500 words

Make the reader

Cock their head sideways

As confused celebrants do

And I have to wisely question

If you are a harbinger of hope

Or a sure sign of senility

I just don’t know

Even if the writing

Really is on the wall

Supernatural filters

Cloud it’s legibility

Today

I call it loneliness

Which may not be

I know it wears a bow

Of boredom

But even that

Seems “cringy”

But I feel it time to time

Often after being brave

Then tenacity

Leaves a slow sludge trail

A cotton-thrush fog

Nothing nothing quells it

It sits and molds

Deteriorates

I’ve got a sense about me

A fly’s a-buzzin’ around

Like peanut butter and wheat toast

The notion is warm and right

It’s a net filled with providence

Handed down by the God

Bridging the moment

Empty mind before

And knowing knower then

It’s a tap on the shoulder

The glance away

The returned gaze

And the big-bowed box

Sitting neatly on the desk

And you think

Who?

What?

How?

Oh, what a gift

That new fresh bit

What a gift

Here’s a tip

You are more capable than you think

Now go

But first, notice what I notice

You are very very impressed with yourself

He likes him some him

She likes her some her

But only on one level

One very very self-spoiled level

Like the girl who’s been told she’s pretty

And really REALLY believes it

Or the boy who buys his own hype

But on a completely different level

You know you’re unexceptional by choice

By daily frequent soul-suicidal choice

Yes, it’s SO sad, that you gift yourself

Waterfalls of excuses

Me-time you need

Trips and pleasures and sloth

And while you say a friendly friendly thing,

You haven’t quite mastered

A way of “pal”ing around

That doesn’t feel like game-hunting

Or capture the flag

You forget that a toy you sit on

Can’t be played with

And the pet that is smothered, dies

So I’m caught and frozen and sad

Cause there’s a part of you

That is wide-eyed and ready

To be excellent for all

But it’s locked in a room

Down a series of corridors

In a haunted dungeon

With sweet evil women who hold the key

And a mean mean mess of a man

Who blocks the door

And you call them family

And you call them

When your tasks stack way up

And your phone lights up

And you find yourself

On the very edge of the cliff

Ready to fully commit

To a world-class dive

To finish something great

To be seen by all

You have a second

To decide

Shrink back

Or lunge forward

Show them all

Or find the couch again

And I just got to say

That everyone is playing tug ‘o war

Right now everyday

We’re hopelessly caught between

Knowing you can crank out heroes

And knowing full and well

That you won’t

And that, Friend, makes me so angry

Because, like I’ve said

You are more capable

Actually capable

Than you think you are