I daydream dark daydreams
Ever since I was left
At the station
I starve and I torture
Cause that’s in me now
I guess
They couldn’t have known
What a thing it did to me

I daydream dark with restlessness
Ever since big shirts
Hid my ribs
I kidnap and I expose
Cause that’s in me now
I guess
They couldn’t have known
What a thing it did to me

I daydream dark then stop
Before I say their name
Or see their face
I click my tongue and wince
Cause that’s in me now
I guess
They couldn’t have known
What a thing it did to me

It’s steep
And I’m kept
Far and far
Lay the masses
Gruesome falls
Each one
And I wish
Different choices
Were made
And I wish
None had to perish
But still I’m held
Still I trumpet
About the grace
About the hand
About the eye

That’s not my stuff
But I’ll get it
Glass everywhere
Shining like diamonds
Store looted
I’ll take mine
Though it’s not mine
I’ll take what I want
It’s my way
Of sticking it
To the man
I’m angry
I’ve had enough
Big business does nothing
Doesn’t see me
Prizes things as trophies
Doesn’t see me or mine
Leave me to it
Don’t try to stop me police
Don’t try to stop me self
Don’t try to stop me mom
It’s a moment to say something
I never get to say
So don’t stop me
Don’t stop us
It’s about me
It’s about us
Being mad
Right now
Right here
Here and now
Tomorrow we’re back
To the same old mess
But tonight
I pick a fight
We pick a fight

Bekah sent a text
Hello
Hello Beks how are you
She replied in emojis
Bekah has downs syndrome
I replied back with emojis
You silly
No you silly
Mom birthday today
Oh that’s fun
Yes, Mom birthday
Tell her happy birthday
K then balloon emojis
Birthday cake emojis returned
More balloon emojis
Give her a hug for me
You silly
No you silly
Ha ha
Bye Bekah
Bye

You’re no grizzly
Though you pride yourself to be
You’re just a mad boy
Just a mad mad boy
Momma made you mad
Daddy made you mad
The white ones and the black ones
Made you mad mad mad
So you growl
So you growl and growl
And build wall on wall
With your lego emotions
And you know what you know
Damn sure of yourself
Very sure until
Your little trip with God
And the tearful fountain
And the patient line-by-line
That cabin did you good
You’re no grizzly

Time is a funny thing
And this time is funny
Must stay with eyes open
Though work is done
And there are no projects
And I ache for sleep
But the 40 hours beg

And outside my door
There’s a riot
And I could be there
On one side or the other
Or as a referee
And I ache for sleep
But the 40 hours beg

Look at all the lonely people
I could bring encouragment and cheer
To some if not all
But I’m handcuffed to this desk
For three more hours
And I ache for sleep
But the 40 hours beg

The one thing I could work on
Rests in the wisdom of a coworker
Who is in a meeting
For another hour
So I twiddle and twiddle
And I ache for sleep
But the 40 hours beg

Tell me your darkest secrets
No I’ll tell you my deepest pain
But you are fascinating to me
But am I more than a curiosity

To be honest I just need intrigue
To be honest I need to be seen
To be honest I just want a nibble
To be honest I need fidelity

Why won’t you let me see you
Because there is more than you can see
Why won’t you let me study you
Because you don’t want the degree

To be honest I just need intrigue
To be honest I just need to be seen
To be honest I just want a nibble
To be honest I need fidelity.

I very much like that he tries
That little boy
His vocabulary is strangely limited
Yet He longs to communicate
In big boy terms
To say how vast with vast words
To joke with the stand-ups
And reason with the thinkers
His mind is a minute too small
Watching everyone run on ahead
And though he soldiers on
He knows He’s different
And I hope he knows
He’s not wrong

What I said
Isn’t even
In your phone book
You couldn’t access it
If you tried
Cause you don’t run
Or bark around
That sort of information
You don’t climb there
Or smell what I’m steppin’ in
And to a degree I suppose
It’s charming and sweet and precious
Yes, sure, out of one eye
But out of the other
It’s tired and perfunctory
Cause it takes no effort
To not see
It takes no strength
To not hear
If it is a try
It’s an empty try
Cause if I say
I don’t want to be
Yet lift not a finger
To stop the being
Then haven’t I chosen
Again and again and again
To be and be and be
And though my heart
May be right as rain
And free from malice
And free from mean
The neglect I didn’t intend
Is still neglect
And the me I’d rather become
Is a far off planet

That pain is so annoying
As it finger walks its way
Up the back of your neck
To your temples
A neck of pain
A dull ache
A sting in your chest
And weird numb arm
It’s cause for alarm

And the same ole fight
After all these years
A stupid dot-to-dot
Without a big reveal
A broken record song
Stuck on repeat
Like a bully with a bomb
Like a maestro with a baton
It’s a cause for alarm

And I just wish I could say
Night-night to this day
And sleep while doing
Something great
And maybe whisper
It all away
Through the smoke
Into the barn
It’s cause for alarm