You are slight

And I didn’t know

I built you up

In a hopeful way

I can be naive

In a hopeful way

So I gave you

Too much credit

And truly believed

You were thicker

Having sturdy character

And I wish

It were so

And I wish

It was the case

But you are slight

My humor tells on me

At least it should

If you listen closely

It’s mostly autobiographical

It sounds so daring

So out there

So wild and so easily thought

To be that which only gets a rise

But I’d say

And I’m trying to be fair

That 95% of it

Has been lived

Actually

By me

Fully

Secretly

In deep in pleasure

In deep in pain

Sometimes knowing

Sometimes not

Sometimes done

Sometimes done to

And I can write a victim’s song

As I can bellow like a crow

And it is better now

Several chapters closed

But in the laugh

I joke

I make you nervous

I’m sorry

I don’t know why

I can’t read you

I don’t know you

Well enough to see

Why your shell

Is so easily cracked

Why your soul

is so easily stirred

Why your voice

Rises, shakes

Why do you talk

To the whole room

While only looking

At me, straight at me

Is it for agreement

Am I mean not to nod

Do you think I withhold

Or is it so that I will know

That what you say

Is what you think

I need to hear.

Do you want affirmed

Or do you want heard

Do you want to be seen

Or for me to know

That you see me

All I know

Is that it is clear

That I make you nervous

But there’s no need for that

I am with you

The pretty pretty man was trounced

Raise both my hands

So I’m taking a victory lap

And it is vain and it is arrogant

But it is mine and it is mine

So forgive me and let me just gloat

Because he kicked my teeth in

He held me down

He danced like a white man

On all that I had come to be

And he, yes he, compensated so

And yes, I actually do know

For in truth, he is small

Tiny small

Of small character, etc

But he likes vanilla

And cookies

And I’m just wondering

How in this world

You failed to notice

That he is blank

That’s all there is to him

How did you miss that

How did so many of you miss that

I will only fade away

I will simply fade far away

Into the scenery

And I can see

That we don’t need our leaders

To be mainly front and center

In the intoxicating seat

Detracting from One

So can we lasso the beam?

In there

There is ruin

Ruin as vast as the sea

I’m so surprised

I never expected

That voice

From you

Why not, exactly?

Why not?

Touched and napping

Groped in line

Envisioned and knocking

May I, may I

Barely lucid

Inebriated

Traveling so much

And daring

And scared

And such a spiral

In that room

Or church

Our mind

My mind

Ruin as vast

As the sea

We’re walking here

Spit on me

Closed hater

In orange, you clown

It all adds up

To trouble in your hands

Like a signature

You own the owned

And I will not have to consider another

Cause time knows it’s you

And winds hold you up

Above the waves

So bow

No one is confused

I will only fade away

I will simply fade far away

Into the scenery

And I can see

That we don’t need our leaders

To be mainly front and center

In the intoxicating seat

Detracting from One

So can we lasso the beam?

Gravel-throated bone digger

Found it yet?

Gravel-throated bone digger

Scan that room

Before your soul

Peer through haze

Peer through the haze

Cause it’s easier to sing forward

Than to outline the body

Of an old life that can’t know peace

But sure death is sorely needed

Or to hell you’ll go drumming

Being true to yourself

That horrible horrible deadly advice

From a buffoon you let paint on you

Fooling fooling fooling you

It’s a sad thing that so many dead ask you

Are the hymns really so easy to ignore?

The sharpest fragment of bone

Comes close to knowing

The ache of being this caught

Cause something broke it

Broke it up

Left it jagged

Left it always

Forever

Partial

Cause nothing will be putting

That back together

Forever with quite a limp

And you can call out

Your voice can echo

For a thousand miles

Heal me

Heal me

Heal me

Heal me

But you’re broken

In such great pain