Something free of fleas please
That doesn’t gnaw on the table legs
Something house-trained
That doesn’t sniff every crotch around
Something predictable
That people can work with
Not the prissy snarly one
Not the snooty judgment howler
Not the endless broken promise-maker
Not the lick your own wounds king
Something obedient and pleasing
That has no wicked sisters
Something that alphas with class
That follows just as poised
Something that grooms easily
That appreciates praise
Not the yapping whippet
Not the whining sludge
Not the excessive excuser
Not the lick your own wounds king