I will hold this knife

In this covenant

I will do it

I will

I will be devoted

And show you

I will sell you

Til they love you

And you will never know

If I’m really for you

Or so I’ll tell myself

But you will know

And you do know

That I am a pariah

To myself

So how could I ever understand

What I’ll be the last to understand

That all the while

I was just and simply

The biggest biggest fraud

Selling watches from my overcoat

In a crowd of grownup businessmen

Who know the trinkets are fakes

Yet smile as they steadily walk by

And promote me

And promote me

Yet don’t know me

Cause he’ll sure try, they’ll say

And he, they’ll say, will be fine enough

He’s conscientious

He’s tenacious

He’s fastidious

He’s studious

He’s industrious

So

He’ll do

As a fraud among frauds

He’ll do

And so

It’s all a blur

Really

Though some of it

Some fleeting moments

Were real and true

Though which ones

I’m not sure

My memory

Doesn’t favor

The hoaxer

Who doesn’t know

He doesn’t know